Adventures with Dr. Lady Cutie Troublemaker

I can’t leave the dark post from yesterday up as the first post people see. I’m not even depressed. I just was having kind of a crap day. Today is much better so far. I woke up at 11:20am, which completely ROOLZ! 😛 Then, I decided I was going to clean this place. I’ve been walking from room to room and setting a timer for 10 minutes. I’ve gotten through every room except my bedroom, and that isn’t too bad. I got a little sidetracked in the kitchen and really went to town on the place. It’s all sparkly (except for the floor and inside the microwave). I have a real day to myself, which is rare, so I’m trying to make the most of it. It’s sort of my last unplanned day before my defense, which is in 11 days and 20 hours (if you’re asking… I have a little countdown running on my statusbar.)

Next up is some dissertation stuff, but it’s just mindless stuff like getting the pagination right. I may even skip it, since I haven’t gotten final comments from my chair. Luckily, he says that so far, they are really minor, so that’s good.

I sometimes think that my honesty gets me in trouble. I’m usually fairly upbeat, but when I’m not, I talk about it, and I think that makes my low moods seem bigger than they are. Lots of people don’t talk about their bad moods. Me? I’m like a gumball machine. If I’m having thoughts or feelings or opinions, then I am talking about them. It’s a curse, but in many ways, it’s served me well… you know… if people can deal with my incessant blah, blah, blah-ing!

Here’s a recent happy picture to put you all at ease:

OK, more stuff to do, more stuff to do.

In this space was a very long post about my melancholy mood, my headache and how I hit my head yesterday, the pinched nerve in my back, a story about a cutter I met yesterday at a high school, and how I’m amazed by the stories I hear in my work. The last part of my post was about PostSecret, the web site where I found these startling post cards:

But my browser crashed, and it all went out into the ether, never to be seen again.

Whatever you think of Rosie O’Donnell, I liked reading this on her blog. It touched me. I’m going to be working with victims of abuse and offenders during my last rotation of internship. It started yesterday, and I already heard a heartbreaking story I can’t repeat here. Sometimes we try not to see all this bad stuff going on in our world, but I’m here to tell you, it’s everywhere.

Hooray! My dissertation chair is not dead, and he’s read about halfway through the latest (I’m calling it the "final") draft. Unfortunately, his 40-something wife is pregnant with twins, and even though the official full-term date is mid-June, she has already been to the hospital 4 times. If she can last, they are planning on inducing pregnancy on May 17th, just 5 days after I defend. Oh, and my dissertation director is on sabbatical, and I haven’t spoken to him in a while either, but he’s given me feedback, and I’ve made all the changes he suggested. The other two committee members? Haven’t heard a peep out of either of them.

Best case scenario? They are all so out of it and feel so guilty about their lack of attention to my many attempts to contact them, that they don’t ask any challenging questions, and they just sign off on… easy peasy. Even better case scenario: My chair’s wife has two healthy twins at the exact time of my scheduled defense, meaning that he can’t show up and just signs off on it later in the day!

Worst case scenario? They all stay up late the night before reading like mad looking for things to critique. They all show up grouchy and ready to grill me. They see things they hadn’t noticed before that they hate. They berate me for my shoddy research and writing skills. I fail my Ph.D. and end up jobless and homeless, unloved and on the streets of Memphis, addicted to meth.

OK. I admit it. I watch American Idol! There! I said it. I blame my mother entirely. And can I just say I’m pretty amazed that Constantine was voted off? I think it’s the www.votefortheworst.com effect. What a weird way to entertain yourself, i.e. dialing a phone for a few hours just to mess with television results. I actually like watching the show, yet I’m not willing/don’t have the time or energy to compete against a bunch of 13 year-olds in a phone dialing race. Watching American Idol has also become this great bonding thing between my mother and I. I used to ridicule her for watching it. Now we like to gossip on Tuesdays after it’s over. I think that’s probably better than the ridiculing thing… you know… in terms of being a less shitty daughter.

Oh. There is another confession to make today. I bought four of these:

Does that make me shallow? Do you see what they are? They hold fully frosted cupcakes so well that you can store them upside down and they are fine. I don’t even remember the last time I made cupcakes, and when I did, I’m sure I didn’t frost them, but I can’t resist such a cute kitchen gadgety novelty.

At least I was brave and didn’t buy this! I mean, it isn’t like I didn’t want to or something. I was just really strong! OK, maybe I didn’t buy it because it was just an April Fool’s Day joke, but it was also the strength thing.