Traveling Light
From Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert:
“I seriously believed he was my soul mate.”
“He probably was. Your problem is you don’t understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is you just can’t let this one go…You can’t accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You’re like a dog at the dump, baby–you’re just lickin’ at an empty can trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.”
“But I love him.”
“So love him.”
“But I miss him.”
“So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it.â€
There was a time maybe four years ago when I might have read this and thought that there was no way in hell it was true. I like the idea of taking a relationship that was significant, putting it in the museum in its place, honoring it for its importance, and moving on. I think I’ve done that. Shelf life times of course vary. Mine was pretty damn long, and I wouldn’t have given it up for the world. But I also wouldn’t have given up my life since for the world, because it is mine, and it has made me who I am today. I realized recently just how baggage-free I am. And when you travel through life pretty free of baggage, and that freedom has come from a lot of work and communication at times when it wasn’t easy, you don’t want to load up your cart with just anyone. I have this Pollyanna-ish idea that being picky is good, and that as long as I live my life well and focus on creating a good life for myself, the right person to share my life with will eventually emerge.
Comment by Elizabeth
February 24, 2008 @ 8:08 pm
Things have an amazing way of working out, maybe not in the time that we want them to, but in the time that is meant to be. So true.
“Eat, pray, love” is on my list of books to read. Perhaps it just moved higher on the list now…