Adventures with Dr. Lady Cutie Troublemaker

Looks like I’m not the only one headed South. For the record, the move for me has to do with my BIG THREE:

1. Weather! I’m from the South originally (Atlanta, GA right in the city), and my years living there (1974-87 and 1993-97) were the only times in my life I wasn’t plagued by terrible eczema. Last winter was brutal on my skin. If you’ve never had eczema like me, then you probably think that’s a silly reason. I’m OK with you thinking that, but that doesn’t change how I feel. The 4pm darkness mid-winter doesn’t really work for me either. I get S.A.D..
2. The roads. Navigation around this city is not friendy to outsiders, even outsiders with GPS. JP streets have been ripped to shreds over and over since I moved in, not to mention the potholes and construction everywhere else I go. Traffic is S L O W!! I actually don’t mind the rotaries and the Massholes so much. Rotaries keep me moving, which I like, and I’m as about aggressive as they come with lightening quick reflexes, so avoiding accidents is something I do well. But the overall gestalt experience of driving here is very stressful in too many ways.
3. Cost of Living. Many Bostonians pay one-third to one-half of their income on rent, leaving little leftover to enjoy all the amazing cultural opportunities this town has to offer.

All that said, I will miss both the city of Boston and my friends terribly. I am sure I will be back to visit often. While I leave my apartment in 5 days, I will be in town until the end of October, so don’t say your goodbyes just yet!

OK, you don’t get what you don’t ask for. So here’s what I need:

• A month to month lease in JP starting Sept 1 – room, efficiency, whatever. Preferably cheap!
• A recent Windows XP Professional disk. I can’t find my new one, and my old one is too old to work without doing a full hard drive format.

Just about every day, I reconsider my move away from Boston to Raleigh, and just about every day, I redecide that moving is the right thing to do. Yet, in my head, there are a few repeating thoughts and questions: Since I made the decision to leave in the middle of a very dark time, was my decision influenced by the lens of that time more than it should have been? I wonder if my questioning myself about this has to do with the fact that the weather is nice right now – the time of year that makes it easy to forget about the short, dark days of winter. Do I question myself because I’ve met a delightful boy to spend my time with? Because I’ve reconnected with another old friend who is going through many of the same things I’m going through? Is it that I can’t bear to move away from Kristin, my "boyfriend" when I think her life is about to start getting really good? Can I really leave Linda? Jon? Sooz and her game nights? All the friends I’ve met through Kristin, through Friday karaoke, through blogging? The hope of actually seeing Scott and Michelle? I ask myself, "Was my skin REALLY that bad all winter?" and then I remind myself that it indeed was. Will Bostonians stay out of their caves all winter? No, I know they won’t. This level of fun doesn’t seem to happen year ’round, despite what people say. It does if you look hard, but on the whole, it’s really cave time.

Is Raleigh a better match of a place for me? I think it is, but it’s an unknown, and unknowns are hard, especially when leaving a known place where I feel so loved. I’m glad I have Christopher and his mom down in Raleigh, egging me on. I’ve started making contacts and have some phone appointments set up, but I do notice that sometimes I drag my feet on this stuff, and that’s surely because this is hard. I never got traction like this in Memphis. I’ve been missing that sense of belonging since I left Bloomington. To uproot myself again seems so stupid in so many ways, but then, do I really want to spend more time in a place that doesn’t seem like THE place? It’s like staying in a relationship that you know doesn’t have longevity. When you’re "of a certain age," remaining in those relationships isn’t smart. My relationship with Boston is a complex one. Has been from the start back in ’92 when I first arrived. Boston is where I come when I want my life to change a lot. Works every time.

For context, here are all my posts about moving, starting in January just before my breakup:

• Travel Eludes Us/Finding Home
• Great News
• Considering Climates
• Slidy Relocation Tool Thingy
• Raleigh: First Look
• Climate Question on Ask MetaFilter
• There and Here

So far, very good. I’m pretty damn lucky that I dated Christopher back in the day. He’s an extremely sweet and social guy who seems to know everyone I’d be interested in knowing in this town. He works at NC State in media and distance learning. He’s a bass player and a DJ and is involved in all sorts of musical and creative projects. We met artists and musicians wherever we went, and we ran into people he knew on the street, in coffee shops, just everywhere. I haven’t had any time to research Raleigh further since decided it seemed like a place I might want to live, but he’s been thinking about it, which is working really well for me. He’s a bit of a civic booster, actually. I’d forgotten he grew up here before moving up to Connecticut in high school, so he’s a long-termer in this town. The people we’ve met have been genuine, intelligent, creative types who I would definitely love to spend more time around. And people here can’t say enough nice things about the place. I even got the pitch from the woman I sat next to on the plane whose family had moved down from Brooklyn (picked the place off the map based on research much like I’m doing) after her husband evacuated Tower One of World Trade on 9/11/2001 then stayed for a few years keeping that business afloat. They wanted a better place to raise their son and a calmer life.

I could do this thing. Boston has been so wonderful in so many ways, but the three bad things about it (cost of living, navigation/traffic/roads, and mostly, the WEATHER) make it a place I really can’t see staying for the long-term. But you know I’ll visit. And you know I’ll stay connected all over the internet.

This making a life for myself isn’t easy. Not that I thought it would be. I guess I thought it would come together without so much effort, but I’m getting there… slowly but surely.

More pictures. 

Comfy Climates: Relocation for an Eczema Sufferer