Adventures with Dr. Lady Cutie Troublemaker

Comment by smoooochie

June 13, 2007 @ 1:35 pm

It seems here that the key word is “demanding.” If you are having to demand the truth then I think it’s past the point of someone carrying their agenda quietly and just being plain secretive. That being said a way to potentially avoid information being secret rather than quiet, seems that expecting the truth and accepting the information willingly given might be a better solution than demanding anything. Not everything has to be loud to be the truth.

Comment by Kristin M.

June 13, 2007 @ 1:50 pm

Wait – you don’t want to be which? It’s not clear.

Comment by Abby

June 13, 2007 @ 3:08 pm

I don’t want to be the woman described in the quote – the one who’s impossible to challenge.

I guess the thing is that I always make a point to tell friends and people that I date that I always want the truth. And when I suspect lies (I can smell them a mile away), I will always say so.

I guess I wonder what you mean, V, when you say “accepting the information willingly given” because I’m crap at pretending I believe something when I don’t.

Comment by Abby's mom

June 13, 2007 @ 10:00 pm

Given your history, I think it’s a good topic for you to ponder.

Comment by Abby

June 13, 2007 @ 10:34 pm

My history of being lied to and being a bit of an overly tough cookie? I don’t feel like I’ve caused the deception, but I’ve sure experienced being lied to a time or two.

Comment by spstanley

June 14, 2007 @ 1:04 pm

More often than not, it is opinion that’s challenged, which is not the same as truth. You have to be open to the idea that other people might be right even if they don’t agree with you, or may just hold a different opinion. You need to be able to, at the very worst, agree to disagree.

Comment by Abby

June 14, 2007 @ 1:19 pm

Yes, I agree with that. I think that claiming that other people’s OPINIONS are wrong is, unfortunately, something I’ve been guilty of. I especially do that when it comes to music, and sometimes food. And in the moment, OH how I believe my opinions. I mean, if you tell me that opening band night before last, I’m really going to HAVE to disagree strongly. But in retrospect, I know that it’s not a defensible tactic.

With this post, I’m more talking about actual truths, which can be thoughts, too. For example, “I really am not happy with thing X that you do.” If someone keeps information like that from me, I have no means to alter my behavior. Or even more bold-faced lies like, “No, I’m not having an affair!” Those lies are unjustifiable and not OK. They border on unforgivable, or at the very least, dealbreakers for friendship.

Comment by smoooochie

June 14, 2007 @ 2:04 pm

What I am saying is that if someone gives you their opinion or their side of it you often don’t take that very well, as mentioned after my earlier comment. Sometimes people go on with their “own agenda quietly” because your opinion, if different, has a need to override. I am not saying to accept blatant lies, but we each have our own perspective and not allowing for that is setting yourself up for people to just say nothing at all.

Comment by Abby

June 14, 2007 @ 8:12 pm

I think my problem is that I forget that other people don’t groove on debate as much as I do. I actually kind of like to be disagreed with, and I think many people like a smoother ride. I’ve been told I groove on friction, and I think that’s true. But I need to remember that most people are quite avoidant of it.