Adventures with Dr. Lady Cutie Troublemaker

There But For

By Abby at 1:29 pm on Tuesday, December 11, 2007

A friend of mine was going to be in Raleigh this week. I was looking forward to it. Last week, he was talking about how his family may need to have an intervention for his father. I participated in one once for a close family member 14 1/2 years ago, and it changed the course of my life and the life of the person for whom we had it. Sadly, today, my friend found out that his father was found dead in his apartment, so I won’t have a visitor this week. Instead, my friend will be at his own father’s funeral. I also had an ex-boyfriend who lost someone very close to him to alcoholism. I’m very, very grateful that I didn’t experience the same fate. And I’m grateful that there are so many strong people in this world who love their “drunks”, and do what has to be done so that when they are ready, they get the help they need. I believe in the disease model of alcoholism. I am grateful I did not inherit it. I will continue to love those around me who fight with it. Luckily, right now, noone I know is in that kind of dire situation (like my friend’s father clearly was). But man, what a reality smack-in-the-head.

Filed under: Ramblings/Brain Dumps/Opinions — 8 Comments »

8 Comments

Comment by libby

December 11, 2007 @ 5:25 pm

man, that is awful news. sorry to hear it. hope your friend makes it through okay.

Comment by parental unit

December 11, 2007 @ 7:27 pm

There’s an AA saying, “Alcoholism is the only disease that tells you you don’t have it.” It’s not true. There are others, notably Manic-Depressive Illness. But it’s true enough. It’s stories like this one that drive that truth home. It’s called a “family illness,” not because it afflicts the whole family medically, but because it affects everyone in its vicinity – most importantly, family. I’m glad you’ve caught on to the “disease” idea. It’s not an excuse, “It’s not me, it’s my disease.” It’s just the truth. Those of us who are around alcoholics all the time have seen too many such tragedies over the years to think otherwise. It’s important for your friend to know that what happened is not his fault. It’s a testimony to the virulence of the disease, Alcoholism. So many people get caught up in thinking “if only I had…” When an alcoholic dies in the throes of this disorder, it’s time for the collateral damage to the family to stop. In the end, only the alcoholic can beat the disease, and that’s never guaranteed. It’s increasingly more common, but it’s still “rare.”