Adventures with Dr. Lady Cutie Troublemaker

Al should really have his own blog, as should my dad, but since neither of those blogs will EVER exist, I must rely on shamelessly quoting them on my blog. After seeing my plug for Critter Cuisine yesterday, I received this caution from Al:

Dear Abby,

Congratulations on the Dr. achievement.  They’s a batch of [AbbyFamily]Docs around this country. Please stay down here and don’t, for Buddha’s sake, don’t go to that horrible B-word city. Ain’t no hookworm, no pellagra, precious little beri-beri up there…just frozen sidewalks and icy stares.  You could grow to love North Georgia and even find things to keep you busy. Now , the pay won’t be that great but you could worry your parents. What more can a daughter want than to worry her parents? Best to you and thanks for the Critter connection.

Al

Me to Al: 

Hee hee. You crack me up.

Now I realize I’ve completely missed out. What are: hookworm, pellagra, and beri-beri? I’m afraid that somehow, by accident, my parents may have raised a Yankee! OK, not really, but I think I can make it up there just fine. It may be harder to find collards, but I always manage somehow!

Abby

PS – You can’t be that funny if you expect me not to blog about it!

Al to Me:

Hookworm is an intestinal parasite that is usually associated with eating pork that has been infected with the parasite and not cooked long enough to kill the aforementioned parasite. Po’ folks from down here had lots of  hookworm.  When yo’daddy was working at Memphis hospitals he probably did lots of stool specimen tests for hookworm.  As a matter of fact, [he] could probably write extensively about hookworm. Folks who are infected look gaunt, skinny, hollow eyed, no energy. Pellagra is a dietary deficiency disorder.  Not enough B vitamins and a terrible diet produces this. Beri-beri is another B vitamin shortage malfunction. People from ‘up yonder’ rarely, if ever, have these dietary deficiencies since they made so much money stealing from poor folks from ‘down here’. During the War of Southern Rebellion, the invading Northerners killed our hogs, chickens, and other livestock, took our money and left us in financial ruin. Please don’t go ‘up there’.  You won’t stand a dog’s chance of surviving such meanness.

Yrs in Christ.

Al

You probably don’t understand what Al’s on about. That’s Al. He takes a little learning, but it’s completely worth the effort. Maybe if I’m lucky, he’ll send some proper intestinal parasites to me in Boston so at least I can feel like I’m in touch with my roots.

My point? Buy Critter Cuisine.

Oh fudge. Gotta go to work again. I HATE that. It’s like every damn day!