Adventures with Dr. Lady Cutie Troublemaker

Sometimes at Christmas, I am very inspired because it’s been a good year with lots of news to report. Perhaps, I’ve been so busy that I’ve been out of touch with those I care about. On those years, I get excited about making or buying Christmas cards to share with everyone. I make a list, I get addresses, I start the process. It’s a really fun time.

On other Christmases (like this one), I am at the end of a year where I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to, and I’m sort of looking forward to the holidays speeding right past me. I mean, I’m open to the moments of cheer and contact with old friends and the like, but I’m not as much in the moment of the holiday. I think that in years like this one, it’s OK that I don’t feel inspired to write out cards and send them. It means that on the years that I do write them, they will be straight from the heart. I’ve heard a few friends talk about how they want to/HAVE to get their cards out. Well, I say just skip it. I know you love me. I know you care about your friends. Will they really doubt that fact without the card for the fridge? And if they do, are they really the best friends to have? Just a thought.

To anyone reading this who knows me, I do hope you understand that I will not be finding the time to spin my past year into a little Christmas letter for you. I still like you. I still care about you. And there’s a good chance that next year, I’m going to send out a kickass Christmas letter and card. Just you wait!

So there is a new feature with Google Reader wherein you can share your favorite items with your “friends,” only these are not people you specifically select in. No, Google just uses your chat contact list and automatically shares the feeds you share with those people. The only way to keep people from seeing your shared items is to delete them from your contact list. I noticed this when I saw that I had shared items from my only ex with whom I don’t have good relations. I’m sure he didn’t mean to share those with me, and I’m sure I don’t want him to see things I share. In order to keep him from seeing what I share, I’m supposed to delete him from my contact list. I don’t think that’s ideal, because what if there is a reason I need to have his email address? So I went in to do that anyway, and I saw that I had already deleted him. So he’s in the share list no matter what. I can’t tell why, and it’s pretty hard to get Google to respond to one individual’s issue. I think the upshot is that I won’t be using this sharing feature. I’ll keep my sharing limited to the blog, Twitter, and sometimes Facebook. To me, I don’t have enough control over this feature for it to feel secure enough for me to use it. Perhaps they will eventually make it where I can deselect all then add in only those people I would actually want to allow access to my shared links.

A friend of mine was going to be in Raleigh this week. I was looking forward to it. Last week, he was talking about how his family may need to have an intervention for his father. I participated in one once for a close family member 14 1/2 years ago, and it changed the course of my life and the life of the person for whom we had it. Sadly, today, my friend found out that his father was found dead in his apartment, so I won’t have a visitor this week. Instead, my friend will be at his own father’s funeral. I also had an ex-boyfriend who lost someone very close to him to alcoholism. I’m very, very grateful that I didn’t experience the same fate. And I’m grateful that there are so many strong people in this world who love their “drunks”, and do what has to be done so that when they are ready, they get the help they need. I believe in the disease model of alcoholism. I am grateful I did not inherit it. I will continue to love those around me who fight with it. Luckily, right now, noone I know is in that kind of dire situation (like my friend’s father clearly was). But man, what a reality smack-in-the-head.

Got an email from mom telling me to read one of Dad’s latest blog posts. It’s the one In Which Dad awards Dick Cheney the “Male Chauvinist Pig” award for the New American Century. If you don’t know, Dad is a retired Freudian psychoanalyst, and he uses his particular brand of professional expertise to explain some of Cheney’s recent remarks.

See castration anxiety on parade…

I blog when I feel like it. I haven’t felt like it. And I think that’s OK. Blogging and photography are things I do because I love them. If I forced myself to do them when I didn’t want to, it wouldn’t be as fun. The nutshell of things is that I’m licensed and trying to find a job, and I have a new camera. I’m trying to force my rudder to direct me somewhere good, but it’s not working the way I want just yet. I’ll get there. I really will. Don’t lose faith.