Life is in flux BIG TIME these days. I want to keep in touch with all of my peeps. The Internet is this beautiful thing. I can move to a brand new city and still stay in easy, near-daily contact with the people I love. When I feel connected to the people in my life that matter, I am unstoppable!
Earlier, I was thinking about my single status and the endless hoop jumping of the last 5 years and how those two things are related. Later, I was listening to Billy Bragg, and this song came on. Coincidence? I don’t think so!
Scholarship Is The Enemy of Romance From Reaching to the Converted
Scholarship is the enemy of romance Where does that leave me? Alone in the rain again What happened to the weekend I planned with you? We didn’t even get upstairs this time
I never missed that end-of-term kiss But where did it go, miss? I don’t know, miss
Take me to the fair and hold me close as we fly through the air Then suddenly on Sunday, it all just melted away And when it had gone, between patches of yellowing grass I found a coin and lost what I was looking for
I never took the advice in that book Oh you should look, sir, you might learn, sir, You might learn, sir
I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve seen her in real life. I talk to her so much that I feel like I saw her last week! Gotta remedy that soon! Have a great day, little lady!
If you follow my Twitters, you know that Jeep has been a very, very bad girl as of late:
Fucking cats. 06:16 AM January 09, 2008
Seriously. Jeep is in huge trouble. Barely slept last night because she was all up in my grill whining for food, as if I hadn’t fed her … … 07:16 AM January 09, 2008
Jeep, I swear to dog, if you keep me awake all night, you’re going to the kitten farm for bad girls. 12:52 AM January 10, 2008
am seriously considering breaking out jeep’s kitty-prozac. yes, she has that. nervous critter is a mess lately. 01:30 AM January 10, 2008
the only explanation is a tapeworm. sleeping on side, jeep teetering on my shoulder, meowing right into my ear. 07:23 AM January 10, 2008
Last night, I fed her much more than usual for her last meal of the day, and she was a perfect angel. I think she was just going through a REALLY hungry phase. Thank dog, because I need some damn sleep!!
What’s funny is that my periodic blog posts about how I’m not blogging add up to probably more posts than many people who consider themselves regular bloggers, but I accepted long ago that I just produce more verbal/written output than the average duck. I’m just built that way, and that’s why blogging is good for me. It provides a nice outlet for all the talk in my head.
On a walk two days ago, I was thinking about my reasons for not blogging right now. I came up with this: Right now, I am not content, I am not in love, and I am not employed. I don’t feel comfortable sharing about my job hunt, because reporting about the steps I’m taking to get a job is boring, and honestly, it takes up time that I’d rather spend actually taking more steps to get a job. I don’t want to write about the fun things I do, since I feel like (maybe justifiablely so, maybe not) people are thinking, “How can you see bands when you have no job? How can you take pictures when you have no job? How can you cook when you have no job? How can you justify doing anything when you should get getting a job?”
I don’t feel compelled to answer those questions (real or imaginary), and I find that when I start to blog, I immediately feel that I need to defend myself. There is a lot of shame in not working. It takes a lot of mental energy to keep motivated, to continue to allow myself to live a regular life and not get too sad. Blogging – like photography – is something I do simply because I love it. I have never even once tried to blog regularly. It just happens. I have things to say. If I’m not experiencing joy with it, then I won’t do it. I feel confident that when I get a job, when I meet someone great, when I start to feel more content, the words will once again begin to flow. For now, I’m letting myself focus on photography as my primary means of expression. You can always follow that stream of images. I’d love you to. And I love comments, if you’re feeling up to it. If not, that’s cool, too.
I have recently joined a group on Flickr called 365ish. Each day, I post a photograph that reflects my mood. You can tell pictures that I’d posted for that because they will have a number in the description: 1/365, 2/365, etc. Here’s my first entry:
Hatching Plots
Actually, I’m looking at the crazy table of crap and trying to decide where to put it all. Truth is, I live in a really small apartment and need more space, but I’m convinced that I can get it to work.
1/365ish: Motivated
I have that early-January determined feeling. Last year things I spent a lot of the time feeling very stuck. In this picture, I’m wearing new Christmas jammies, eating some healthy food, and plotting ways to reduce some of the clutter that I feel like is wearing me down on a daily basis. Actually, I’m looking at the crazy table of crap and trying to decide where to put it all. Truth is, I live in a really small apartment and need more space, but I’m convinced that I can get it to work.
Twitter is also a good outlet for me. I can get out the expression (a crucial thing for me) 140 characters at a time.
I hope that if you are reading this, that you’re doing well, and if you’re in the Triangle, and you hear about any places hiring child psychologists, please let me know!
— Now listening to an old favorite that you’ve probably never heard (unless you’re Xopher):
Well you know I’m always blathering on and on about The Mountain Goats. They live here, but they are most definitely not local. You hear that? Not local at all. The Mountain Goats are a national-level act with worldwide following (I’m straining NOT to say that they are huge in Belgium!), so don’t be thinking I’m sending you off to see some namby pamby local yahoos. I would never do such a thing to you. No, I’m sending you out for some quality entertainment and seriously incisive lyricism. The point I’m trying to make is that TMG are heading toward many people I know very soon. So here’s the tour schedule. If you know me and live in one of these places, you’re going to get an e-mail about it, too. TWO dates in Boston, kids. And Brooklyn AND Manhattan. And even Philly and DC. I have lots of emails to send. John’s put a song from the new album on his blog today. Listen:
John Darnielle (pronounced dar-neel, I’ve just learned) playing a solo spot for the Reach for the Skye benefit at Cat’s Cradle in September – although he did walk out and say, “Hi, we’re The Mountain Goats” despite the fact that he was alone!
John’s bringing The Moaners along. They are a delightfully grungy Delta blues duo – two chicks (That’s hot!”). Take a listen:
The Moaners at Trekky Records’ Christmas at the Cradle a few weeks ago
March is your month: 13 – Northampton, MA, Pearl Street 14 – Boston, MA, Museum of Fine Arts 15 – Boston, MA, The Middle East 18 – New York, NY, Webster Hall 19 – Brooklyn, NY, Music Hall of Williamsburg 20 – Philadelphia, PA, First Unitarian 22 – Washington, DC The Black Cat
Hey, so speaking of local acts, if you haven’t seen the Triangle’s best 35 songs (with free downloads for every one of those songs), you should get right on that.
