Adventures with Dr. Lady Cutie Troublemaker

Life is in flux BIG TIME these days. I want to keep in touch with all of my peeps. The Internet is this beautiful thing. I can move to a brand new city and still stay in easy, near-daily contact with the people I love. When I feel connected to the people in my life that matter, I am unstoppable!

My Own Schedule

By Abby at 12:58 am on Saturday, March 29, 2008

So by FAR the coolest part of this job is that fact that I get to set my own schedule. I just pick 30 hours of the week I want to work, and those are my hours. I fill those with appointments. The other 10 hours is assumed to be for writing and paperwork. How completely cool is that?! I have a few meetings this week – some for marketing, some for training – and I hear there is a case for me now. Yay! I kinda like the slower fade in. Gives me plenty of time to adjust from my unemployed lifestyle.

It’s been so weird since I found out I got the job. I don’t have to spend my time calling people who don’t call me back. I don’t have to spend so much time feeling like a big old loozah. How fun is that?!! 😀

Filed under: Professional Life3 Comments »

Dear Friends Running Windows

By Abby at 8:03 am on Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Your future self will thank you if you get this program. It’s free today only. You have to install and activate it today. I just used it to back up my Windows drivers (Select all -> Backup). I then zipped them all up into one file and emailed them to myself. I have spent several days “upgrading” from Vista to XP, and finding all the correct drivers is a matching game of the highest order. By doing this, I know that if I ever need to reinstall an operating system on this laptop again, I will have a MUCH easier time of it. This was found on Giveaway of the Day. I don’t download programs from there very often, but this one has gotten really good reviews, and it’s exactly what I’ve been looking for.

Download here: Driver Magician

Don’t forget that you must install and activate TODAY! It’s a tiny program, so it only takes a minute to do this. l After unzipping (which can be done just by double clicking), install the program. Select Register Later. Then double click on the orange Activate button. Voila!

Filed under: TechnerdlinessComments Off on Dear Friends Running Windows

Talk About A Teachable Moment

By Abby at 6:45 pm on Tuesday, March 18, 2008

When I was an Associate Instructor in grad school, we talked a lot about something called a “teachable moment”. It’s the idea that when things go wrong in the classroom, it’s often an excellent time to do some great teaching – especially when we’re teaching students to become teachers themselves (which is what I was doing). Take that disaster, that flub, and look at it, and find the lesson being offered. Share it with your students. Although I was a few hours late in watching the Obama speech, I did finally watch it, and what a speech it was. Obama has been under fire for the things that his preacher said, and I’ve been feeling really uneasy about it. I watched the video of his preacher – the one everyone has been talking about. I have to admit that I thought it was pretty beautiful. It was powerful. He was speaking what I feel is truth. The kind of truth that lots of white people in this country like to hide from and pretend isn’t there. The kind of white privilege we talked a lot about in the class I taught. The point wasn’t ever to induce white guilt. The point is to really and truly understand where another human being is coming from. If you don’t allow students in your classroom or people in your office of friends in your life to speak their truth, then you don’t really know them. If you require that those around you behave in certain ways in order to make you feel more comfortable, than the life you’re living is filtered/watered-down. You’re not interacting with the real world. You’re living in a playland of sorts. This is what makes me so sad about politics. It’s so many people trying to make me see things their way and trying to tell me that what I see isn’t real. It’s a very “Emperor’s New Clothes” request. You’re trying to get me to turn what I see as shit into shine-ola. Well, I can’t. I can learn about who you are and how you got to your ideas, but if you’re asking me to pretend that you don’t see race. Or that everyone in American has an equal playing field… Well forget it. It’s not going to happen.

I was afraid to watch the speech. I was afraid Obama would spend more time distancing himself from his preacher, and if he had done that, I would have lost a lot of respect for him. I imagined him calling up the preacher and telling him that he really loved him, but in order to win the election, he’d have to separate himself completely from his church. What a sad thing that would be. He didn’t do that. He showed that he has conviction. That he knows who he is and what he believes. And when under attack, he doesn’t panic and freak out and hurl daggers. He does the right thing. He makes a speech where he explains his real view, and he tells people like it is. He talks about his experience. He talks about Sunday morning segregation. He talks about what is said behind closed doors. I want more people like that in my life and in charge of my government.

Can we really come out of these dark ages? If we can, I might stop wearing the blindfold. I might start listening again.

I’m gonna vote HARD for Obama. I’m going to push that button/punch that card/pull that level… until it BLEEDS.

If you haven’t seen the speech yet, or if you haven’t seen what real integrity looks like in a while, check it out: Link

An amusing follow-up. It’s a snippet of a conversation I had with my friend Ayse today about Obama:

me: how was the Obama speech?
ae: TEH AWESOMENESS
me: OMG I have to say that I’m pretty bothered by the response to his preacher
12:58 PM ae: to honestly talk about race … amazing
me: It makes me sad that it’s acceptable
ae: me, too
me: For white people to dismiss what that preacher was saying
ae: i know!
basics.
me: Because what he was saying should not be radical
To say that America is failing black people and has for generations isn’t (to me) an opinion
ae: truly
agreed
me: You’re witnessing a rare moment when I can’t avoid being political
ae: i’m liking this moment!
12:59 PM go, abby!
me: Because I’m so bothered when people view dissent as Unamerican
ae: i know, really
me: It’s the most American thing there is, and fuck them for thinking anyone who says
“Damn America”
is evil
ae: really
preach!
me: I hate that Obama is having to distance himself from that man, because that man speaks truth
I really wonder what obama is thinking inside his head right now
What a fucking position to be in
1:00 PM ae: he handled it v. well
me: OK good
I will watch later
ae: said he could no more disown wright than the black comm, than his own white grandmother
“These people are part of me and they’re part of America.”
brilliant!!!!!!!
me: YES!
Very
ae: i teared up then
me: I’m glad he didn’t bow down
ae: so smart, so sincere
1:01 PM me: He’s in a helluva position
ae: me, too! he didn’t!
me: I hate that black people have to be “white” to win and get ahead
I mean, I sort of wonder how bicultural he is
I think that unlike many black people in America
He’s actually what we’re seeing on TV
He doesn’t go home and get his black back on
ae: he said a beautiful thing that he has bros, sisters, nieces, uncles, nephews of every color and hue
me: Which is why he can succeed
1:02 PM God, I hope he wins
I liked that preacher.
ae: he is what we see!
me: Yeah
ae: but “get his black on” is hilarious!
😀
me: It’s like me in my job interview
I decided
ae: were you getting your black on?
hee
me: No! Just… Better be honest now so I don’t have to put on a mask for the rest of my job!

Here’s me twittering about the speech earlier:

Filed under: Uncategorized3 Comments »

Tell me about the job, Abby.

By Abby at 12:12 pm on Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I’m answering this multiple times a day right now, so I thought I’d put it all in one place. It’s hard to answer basic questions like “When do you start?” and “What will you be doing?” because the position is kind of not a position. It’s not a nice round peg to fit into a round hole. For the average worker, there are things like start dates and job duties and salaries. As a member of a small group practice, things are very square peggish.

So this is a brand new group practice. I am the third of three therapists. The other two are co-owners. The office has three therapist offices, a playroom, and a waiting room. In the hallway, there is a small fridge and microwave, and there is a printer in the closet. My office has a door AND a window (my dream). It’s furnished, which isn’t always the case in small group practices. Both of the other women work with children. I meet with them for the first time next week to discuss more of the nitty gritty stuff like getting me on insurance panels so that people’s insurance can cover their sessions with me.

I am not walking into a situation where things are happening already. As I begin, I will receive cases, but I can’t start 40 hours all at once. I will receive cases from them (aka “referrals” – they have done a lot of marketing already) as they are available. It will probably take a little time to build up to full time. They both said they consider 30 hours of appointments full-time. This is because there is a lot of paperwork and report writing that I will be doing that will take up the extra time in the week. The greater the percentage of time I spend doing assessments, the more writing time I need. Luckily, assessments pay very well, so I should have the time I need to write them.

Salary is hard to explain, too. One of the reasons I didn’t “hang out my own shingle” is that in order to do that, you have to have all the money you would have to rent an apartment: rent, utilities, etc. I can’t afford the initial output that would be required to go into business for myself, nor would I have (I feel) enough local connections for me to feel competent doing that. While I have excellent professional skills, they are somewhat generic, since I have done all my training in Indiana, Memphis, and Boston. I don’t know much about local resources, and that knowledge is important. Being in an office with people who can answer my questions is a real bonus. I’m lucky that I will still be receiving regular supervision for a while. For them, it is a way of getting to know how I work, quality control, and for me, I get the support I need since I’m still “new” to the area in a professional sense. There is a fee for each client coming in. I pay a certain percentage of what I bring in to the practice to cover all the expenses of working there. This arrangement was crucial for me because (like I said) I am not in a financial position to be able to cover that on my own.

What will I do? I will do what I do! What do I do? Individual, family, and group therapy; parent training; neuropsychological and psychoeducational assessment; consultation with parents and teachers. I do whatever I need to do to help the adults in a child’s life learn about how their child learns and how to advocate for them and support them. I do whatever I need to do for kids to succeed and work through issues they are having: emotionally, behaviorally, educationally, whatever “-ly” is relevant.

So in short, the whole ride starts next week, but it’s a gradual buildup, with lots of details to iron out. The business is new, and I’m even newer. There is a lot they need to do, and there is a lot I need to do, for the clients to start showing up. But the wheels have begun to turn, and that’s the most I can ask for right now.

This really is exactly what I was looking for all along. It’s a dream situation, and I’m feeling really grateful these days. Thanks, Universe! I know you’d come through!

Filed under: Professional Life,Stories From My Life4 Comments »

I’ve Been a Bad, Bad Girl.

By Abby at 1:27 am on Tuesday, March 18, 2008

At brunch the other day, my friend Drew mentioned that each person in Raleigh is supposed to try and keep their water usage under 35 gallons a day. (He clearly reads his bill more carefully than I do.) When I went to check my usage, I was at 52 whopping gallons a day! My first thought was that there had to be a leak. Second, I thought that most people in Raleigh are out of their homes using water elsewhere 40 hours a week, and I’m not. But still, I want to do whatever I can to get my water usage back where it should be. I’ve set up a little weekly calendar in the bathroom. I make myself check when I flush. It’s my little reminder to “let it mellow”, and I think it’s helping a lot. I went to Target and bought a lot of bottled drinking water. My only concern about it is that I have teeth that are very prone to decay, and this water doesn’t have fluoride in it. As a person who doesn’t shower every day (Oh just stop it. I have really dry skin.), I thought that I would be way below the average for sure. Guess I was wrong. Perhaps I’d better hang up a poster of Raleigh’s drought mascot, Rainy, to inspire me. What on earth?! I am amazed this actually exists!

Check your bill. How are you doing? It tells you right at the top.

Filed under: Raleigh and the Triangle8 Comments »
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