Adventures with Dr. Lady Cutie Troublemaker

Here is an analysis of how not to be naive in Memphis (Abby says, “Be a liberal, just don’t be an idiot.”), and here is a sweet tribute to Johnny Carson. And for fun, here is the stupidest news story EVER about a local idiot, and here is a local blogger’s analysis of that.

My parenthetical advice reminds me of a story. My friend Tyrone was supposed to be picked up in Boston by one of my ex’s relatives. I get this call from Tyrone because the relative is really late. I answer the phone, and Tyrone wants to know if I’ve told the relative that he is black. I laughed my ass off. Of COURSE I told him that. Apparently, “good liberal” friends of Tyrone’s think that somehow it’s really respectful to not mention his skin color. What the hell?! If you ask me, being “colorblind” is about as stupid as it gets. “I don’t see color” is bullshit, and it’s misguided. What’s more disrespectful than pretending not to see some very basic qualities of a person? Qualities that might relate to their worldview and their experience? I have to go to work now, so I’m not going to start my rant on the topic, but I assure you, the kids in my Muticulturalism class sure got an earful every semester. This liberal don’t play that stupid game. Puh-leeeze!

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It seems some pranksters in Germany have been putting little Bush flags in piles of dog poo. Hilarious! Click here for more lovely photos and here for an article.

4 More Years of Shit

…the police say they are completely baffled as to who is to blame… “We have sent out extra patrols to try to catch whoever is doing this in the act,” said police spokesman Reiner Kuechler, “but frankly, we don’t know what we would do if we caught them red handed.” Legal experts say there is no law against using faeces [sic] as a flag stand and the federal constitution is vague on the issue.

Bwahahaha!!

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OMG! OK *this* is about the scariest thing I’ve ever seen:

Make it stop!

Seriously. I always say that the thing that represents evil most to me is Applebee’s. Why? Because it, to me, represents the destruction of culture as we know it, the acceptance of mediocrity and tasteless, overprocessed, chemically-enhanced pseudo-foods. Deeming the food at a place like Applebee’s acceptable is to swear off what matters in this world. I know that seems harsh, but I am completely serious. It all relates to my MSG allergy. I have gotten really sick at these kinds of places: the kinds of places that have so many locations that they have to rely on precooked, frozen ingredients, laden with chemicals that give me migraines and make me puke. And this is our culture? This is what we have to offer to the world as “American”? This is what we have to offer to our children? Is there any wonder that obesity in childen has grown (no pun intended) to epic and epidemic proportions?

And now this evil food trend is in the White House? My stars. Would the Dems have done this? It’s reprehensible? It’s lacking in style and grace and everything that matters. I am one seriously offended foodie.

Is it going to get any better? What or who will turn this all around?

Here’s a related link: The Swift Report

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Update 1:22pm, same day: It was a joke! But oh so scarily real. I fell for it, and it was easy to fall for. In my world, the unfathomable is, sadly, often real. I still stand by my rant, but I guess the world hasn’t gone quite as far to hell in a handbasket as I’d thought… at least not in this arena!

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To me, there’s nothing more pro-troops than being against the war. I hate to think of all these fairly young Americans over in a place we shouldn’t be, experiencing all this trauma for no good reason. I really hate it. I’m a sap. That Queer Eye last week with the soldier about to be shipped over to Iraq just broke my heart. Here he is, totally in love with his wife, with a new child, and he’s got to go risk it all because W has this need to avenge his father. Unbelievable. I just saw this. I have some G-mail invites. I’m going to share. At the very least, the poor kids over there should have contact with their friends and family. I know they can’t really talk about the details of what’s going on, but they can at least keep communication with people, so they don’t have to feel all alone and isolated in the middle of the desert with noone there to show they care besides other people going through the same wretched thing. How can their psyches not fall apart? G-mail is a little thing. It might make a little difference, so I’m doing it.
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Update: They don’t need any more donations, which is good. It means people have been generous. Maybe go here instead.

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I’ve written an official letter to the program supervisor officially complaining about the sad lack of a usable computer in my cubicle in the school administration building. I’m under the impression that it’s completely out of his hands and that there is nothing I can do. I’m afraid this may be another case like the health insurance. I’ll do all this legwork to make things right (like shmoozing the big donors at the Christmas party) so that I end up helping the people who come here next year instead of helping myself. I mean, it’s something, but it’s… well… non-optimal. I’d kind of like my efforts to help me, too!

It’s a shame, really, because this internship is all kind of excellent. The supervisors, the organization of everything… it’s superb. It’s just that this one little day-to-day detail just isn’t as it should be, and it’s this constant irritant.

Aaron has been kind enough to lend me a laptop he has, but it’s a little bitty one that gets really hot really fast. I have to cart it to and fro. I need a computer that can live there in my office. It’s amazing to me that people expect that I can get by without a computer. My supervisor doesn’t use a computer. I’m not really sure how that works. Never done it. Maybe I’m spoiled, but if that’s the case, then so be it. I don’t think I am. I’m just technologically skilled, and I do better work when I have my whole toolkit available.

I’ve been browsing around online looking at deals on refurbs. I know eBay is an option, too. Gah! These stupid things… somet of them are using Windows 98. HELLO!!!! It’s 2005! Windows 98 is SEVEN YEARS OLD!!!! It just makes me really angry that I’m here, considering dropping a few hundred out of my big $15K for the year on equipment they should have provided for me. I’ll get on, get a real mouse to put there with it, so I don’t kill myself with carpal tunnel on a touchpad, and I’ll keep it locked in my cubicle.

I still won’t be hooked up to the printer or the Internet (it’s all protected somehow so plugging in doesn’t seem to work – plus, every site I’d want to visit is blocked). No, they won’t hook me up to these things. They only support computers they provide. No, they won’t give me any scoring software. Again, that’s only for their computers. But at least if I have a cheap laptop with a decent-sized screen, I’ll be able to have it there to work on… so I can, like, DO MY JOB! At least some of it… not the printing out things I write part. Not the checking my e-mail part. Not the utilizing online resources part. Not the scoring protocols part. But the writing report part… that, I will be able to do. Man, the more I write, the more I realize this still isn’t really a very good option.

Grrr. I get so angry when I think about it. Hey, at least I have a phone now. That’s something.

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